One of the most effective strategies to manage holiday stress is to plan ahead to prevent holiday meltdowns. We come into the holiday season with a mix of feelings, happy and sad, maybe even with some anxiety. The logistics, expectations, commitments and obligations can be so overwhelming. But, if we look at what we've done previous years and what we can do before the holiday season this year then we can put some strategies in place. This isn't about creating the perfect holiday -- this is about creating a realistic and enjoyable holiday season.
Let's start with taking measure of your own holiday emotions and energy levels. Get out a pen and paper, jot down some feelings words. Push yourself to acknowledge the good and the hard feelings.
This list can help you get started: excitement - anticipation - eager - dread - fatigue - grief - comparison - depleted - nostalgia - sadness - anxiety - peaceful - overwhelm - pressure - guilt - loneliness - stress - gratitude - belonging - inadequate - indifferent - valued - loving - hopeful
Take some time to reflect on when you feel the harder emotions at their fullest - possibly its on the actual holiday, or in the lead up to the "big meal", or after when everything is completed.
Those high negative emotional times are going to be the areas that you can begin to make some changes, deciding to do things differently (action/execution), decide to go into it with a different attitude (change your mindset), or decide to make different plans altogether.
Ask yourself, if something is creating this much negative emotions within me, is it worth continuing to do the same way every year just because of "tradition"? Many people worry about what their loved ones will think or feel if you make a change, but scaling back and simplifying can be easily justified by sharing that you are focusing on the really positive parts of the holiday experience.
There is no one easy way to break tradition but there are lots of great ways to make small adjustments to how you approach it:
Recognize and affirm your own feelings (ex: I get overcommitted during the holidays and try to do it all, but really I feel miserable and don't get the quality time with the people I love.)
Manage expectations (ex: I am not able to do x, y, z but I can and want to do _____.)
Preserve your boundaries (ex: I am not saying what you should do, I am only saying what I can do.)
Avoid comparison (ex: Comparing to your past self - I did this event the last 5 years, so I have to do it now; Comparing to your friends and family - They have the perfect decorations and party and pictures, and I can't keep up with them.)
Here's some different ways to simplify and adjust your holiday season:
Make a budget for gifts, meals, events so you can narrow down your "yes" (and get away from "have to's").
Plan your schedule: map it out, is it realistic, do you really want to say yes to everything?
Set boundaries in your schedule: get enough sleep, only consume the meals you want to, drink water regularly.
Delegate tasks: if others really care about certain events, then allow them to take the lead and plan it out allowing you to just enjoy yourself.
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